imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
