All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
