I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
