god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
