Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
