She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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