Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
