At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
