ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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