why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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