I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
