You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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