I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
