This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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