i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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