Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I looked at my own cervix.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
