I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
