Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize