a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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