Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize