'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You can't just leave with hair like that
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
