shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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