How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
this hospital has no fireball
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
