is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
