I hate your face
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
