Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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