I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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