Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Is it because I queefed?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
