I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
