Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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