Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
this hospital has no fireball
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
