So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
