When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just pee around me
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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