Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Randomize
