Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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