Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
