sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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