Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
