She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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