Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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