I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
