i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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