Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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