Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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