i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
