She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
