I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
