so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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