hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My vagina just recognized that song.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
