Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
