If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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