you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
