I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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