she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
This baby is an asshole
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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