So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
