My room smells like vodka and shame
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
