tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
