Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
