I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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