omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
