I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
