If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
