Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
