alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
True strength comes from lack of pants
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
