so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
