Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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