Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
