Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You can't just leave with hair like that
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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