I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize