so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
